Mediation

Here are some examples of the types of situations that are appropriate for mediation:

Amicable Divorce

People enter marriage with the hope and belief that it will last forever. There may be disappointment and resentment when a marriage ends, but that does not mean you are enemies and that a divorce has to be nasty. It is possible to have an amicable divorce. What it takes to have an amicable divorce is two people who are willing and able to focus on their future instead of the past, and who want to find a solution that is best for both of them. With the guidance of a neutral mediator, they can identify the issues that need to be addressed, uncover what is important to each of them, and craft a solution that satisfies their needs.

“Simple” Divorce

Of course, divorce is a major life event with emotional significance for any couple. But for some couples, there are a limited number of decisions that need to be made in order to get a legal divorce. I have worked with a number of clients who do not have children, have limited marital assets and a strong desire to divorce with a minimum of time, money and emotional strain. Couples in this situation appreciate my guidance in making the legal divorce process smooth and simple.

Premarital Agreement

The mention of a premarital agreement can bring to mind the stereotypical situation where a wealthy spouse surprises a fiance with a one-sided agreement on the eve of the wedding. In fact, there are many situations where a premarital agreement can be a useful financial and estate planning tool, and it is possible to craft a premarital agreement that is fair to both parties. For example, in a second marriage, where one or both of the parties has children from a previous marriage, a premarital agreement can help clarify what rights the new spouse will have and what rights the children will have in the event of divorce or death. This is important because getting married automatically provides a spouse with certain rights that cannot be waived without written agreement. Other examples include (1) one spouse is involved in a family business and the parties want to ensure that they are both clear about what would happen to the business in the event of divorce or death, (2) one spouse is moving and giving up career opportunities for the other and they want to make sure they are clear about what is being sacrificed and how that person will be provided for in the event of divorce or death, (3) the spouses have different tolerance for investment risk and want to maintain separate financial arrangements to allow them each to save or invest as they feel is appropriate. When viewed as a planning tool, a premarital agreement is no longer a mechanism for unfairly taking away someone’s rights. Rather, it allows for a discussion about a couple’s financial future when there is a clean slate. A mediator can help facilitate these discussions, allowing the couple to get married with plans in place that they have worked out together, rather than against each other.

Real Estate

Marital Home. Many couples facing divorce struggle with deciding what to do about a coop, condo or house, particularly since housing can be the most valuable asset a couple shares. I have helped clients reach mutually beneficial solutions that satisfy their unique needs. The solutions have included agreeing (1) to sell the property and share the net proceeds, (2) that one spouse will buy out the interest of the other spouse by refinancing the mortgage for a higher amount, and (3) that one spouse will keep the house and the other will keep other marital assets.

Vacation Home. When a group of people decides to purchase and share a vacation home, they enter the arrangement with excitement. They also may wonder how the arrangement will stand up in the future if circumstances changes. I have helped clients think ahead to identify and think through possible scenarios, such as how to pay for expenses, including mortgage, taxes, insurance, repairs and capital improvements needed, how to handle one party wanting to sell their interest in the house, and what process to plan to use if there are unknown conflicts that arise in the future. Those plans can then be memorialized in an agreement between the parties so that everyone can go forward without trepidation.

Back to Top

Parenting Arrangements

Determining a schedule that allows parents living in separate households to each spend quality time with their children can seem overwhelming when the children and parents are used to seeing each other every day. I have helped parents focus on how each of them likes to spend time with their children – be it helping with homework, attending cultural or sporting events, taking them to school, or traveling – so they can craft a parenting schedule that is unique for their situation and allows both parents to maintain a strong relationship with the children.

Financial Situations in Divorce

Variable Income. Not all individuals have consistent income streams. For example, people who work in the entertainment industry may have income that varies significantly from year to year. This can make determining child support and spousal support challenging. I have helped clients determine what is fair to both parties even when income is variable.

Complex Financial Situations. Reaching a settlement regarding financial matters involves making decisions about a number of topics, such as division of assets (including real estate, retirement accounts, etc.) and liabilities (including student loans, credit card debt and mortgages), spousal support, and child support. Viewed independently, these issues can seem overwhelming. I have helped clients to see the broader financial picture and think creatively about how the pieces of the puzzle can fit together. By better understanding their financial needs, the parties can structure creative solutions regarding support and division of community property.

High Net Worth. Some people wonder whether mediation is best reserved for people who need to save money and cannot afford to each hire their own attorney. In fact, mediation is appropriate for anyone who wants to maintain control over their divorce and work out a fair solution in a non-adversarial manner. Couples with significant assets and income may particularly benefit from crafting a solution that is unique to their situation, and not leave their financial decisions to a judge who is bound to follow legal case precedents. In mediation, they can consider the input of financial advisors and others to help structure their settlement.

Estate Planning Situations

Probate Disputes. Coping with the death of a loved one is a difficult emotional experience. Coping is made more complicated when there are disputes between family members regarding inheritances, or the disposition of assets left jointly to more than one beneficiary. Conflicts among beneficiaries can lead to anger and resentment and make productive communication difficult. In mediation, people can find a safe, comfortable forum and a neutral guide to help them have difficult conversations, and untangle the grief and anger from the decision-making process.

Elder Mediation. Planning for the long-term care of an elderly family member requires sensitivity. The “child” who is now an adult, needs to arrange for the care of their elderly parent. The parent and the child may have different views about what is best for the parent’s care. If there is more than one child involved, the siblings may each have different views about what is best. Mediation provides the opportunity for the parties to have a neutral guide facilitate their discussions, identifying communication patterns than may be interfering with constructive conversation.

Back to Top